It had been

I thought I will be able to pull through this time. But I really do not know what to do. i just sleep my way through life. sleeping and sleeping and sleeping. I do not know what to do.

I've received enough messages and whatsoever about my life. I am sorry to say that they are really irritating to me. I am not in the moood to reply to those remarks/concern. I dont think they understand why.

They haven seen why. They simply do not understand. I dont just like him. If i do, i wont be down in this shit. When love comes along,

You will realise,

You will love him although he smells like shit, you will love him enough he is a ultimate jerk, you will still love him even he tried to hurt you over and over again, you will still love and pray for his well-being even he doesnt repay what you did for him.

Frankly I dont expect him to repay anything to me at all. Although he've ruin my life, makes me feel as if I am a sleepy snake sleeping through winter, shutting myself off everyone. I am just sorry to say that I am just too tired to entertain anybody out there.

Its like you've never felt so tired ever in your life and you keep on sleeping till you cry yourself awake. You continue to sleep your way through again. Life has never been so tired before. Its as if you got yourself standing in the cold drenching rain with tears running down your cheeks and you feel like forever. It is just so tiring and you know that its not going to end.

Meteor shower

Meteor Shower

We caught the meteor shower about 2 months back.

Wishing upon the star is crap and it is definately FAIRY TALE.

I've made ample of wishes for him to be happy.

But he is not happy at all.

So dont even waste time on stupid meteor showers.

I am here alone

Why am I here today

Surprise to see me back? I have made a temporary pause in my blogspot.

I need a space to pen down all my thoughts at least for the coming few months. Indeed I am trying to escape from the updates of alot troubles from the cyber world. I will not be updating my FB nor my blogspot.

I woke this morning in tears to realise that the man I love so much went missing. He left me once again and I was sawed up into bits and pieces. Somehow I cannot figure out why, we've been through so much to stay together and why am I left in such state once again. Well true enough I dont blame him at all. Its like the day you realised you really loved. The amount of selfless love or generosity which you feel its never enough for the man you love. I do not wish to explain what he did to me which screwed up my entire life. Well life is screwed anyway. . . . .. .  .. . .. . .I will be staying here in coming MONTHS. It is painful.

Pain

I felt pain acrossed my heart,

I watched blood dripping along the bed.

But I felt painless,

My head was spinning,

and the walls grew pale,

I reached to my cellphone,

to type the word goodbye to him forever.

Disclaimer: No one is gotta die in this blog.

Readily

I guess i am too readily there for him always. Therefore thats the reason why he behave this way. But somehow i still did fell hard.

sigh...

The man who never tear.